APPENDIX

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His depictions of 'Plains Indians' were particularly accurate, and despite the fact that the comic strip was aimed at young boys, Humphris, for reasons probably best known to himself, always depicted the muscular Indian braves in states of almost complete nudity, wearing only the tiniest loincloths, which were, in effect G-strings or 'thongs'.

Now Peter, not realizing like most children, that the majority of adults were not really interested in things that fascinate children, was keen to show his comics to Norman and Jackie.
Norman and Jackie, however, were interested in 'Riders of the Range', and encouraged Peter to play the part of the Indians, while they would be the Cavalry, after all, Peter was already dressed like an Indian as he was usually wearing just his brief little swimming trunks and plimsolls - the equivalent of an Indian's loincloth and moccasins.

Peter, of course had pistols for the cavalry, and a plastic cutlass, (which had been bought in Selfridges, remember ?), and he had a rubber knife and a rifle for himself, as an Indian.
To begin with Peter was allowed to enact repeated 'Little Big Horn' massacres on the 'cavalry', but in the second week of the holiday Norman and Jackie started to want to be allowed to beat the Indians - the Indians being Peter and his imaginary 'War Party'.
Now for those of you who haven't seen where this episode is going we will continue, - but it does not make comfortable reading

The defeated Indians - being Peter - had to be tied up, and for Peter this was no problem, as this often happened when he played with his friends in the Park.
In the last 'game' however, right at the end of the holiday Peter was tied up by his hands and feet, and left lying on his back on the drawing-room floor. Then, while Jackie grinned and watched, Norman slowly pulled of Peter's brief little red swimming trunks. Now Peter had only been naked in front of Jane, when she bathed him, so this was a bit of a shock for him as he didn't understand why he should be completely undressed if he wasn't being bathed.
Norman then began flicking Peter's penis, presumably in the hope that Peter would get an erection. Peter was confused by what Norman was doing, however; didn't get and erection, and started asking Norman why he was playing with his 'willy'.
Norman said that this was part of Peter's punishment for fighting badly, and that real Indians actually got their 'willy' and their other 'bits', (presumably their testicles), cut off if they lost a fight.
Jackie then pushed Peter's legs over his head, while Norman shoved the rubber knife into Pater's anus. At this point Peter was really frightened, and started crying for Jane (Mummy).
Norman, possibly panicking a little, told Peter to behave like a brave Indian and not to cry, and if Peter was able to take this punishment then he and Jackie wouldn't have to tell Peter's parents that Peter had lost his fight and had cried when he was punished.
Now Peter was only eight, and Jackie and Norman were 'grown-ups' as far as he was concerned - and also 'real men', and he didn't want them telling Jane and John that he was a baby and had cried, and couldn't fight properly - so he stopped crying, and tried to be brave.
And that, of course, is how such things happen, - how children are abused and are tricked into not telling anyone about what has happened to them.
Norman, who was carefully probing Peter's 'back-passage' with the toy knife then told Peter that if he had been a real Indian, then it would have been a real knife up his bottom, which was much worse that a rubber one. Then, after Norman had played about with the rubber knife, he calmly pulled down his trousers, lay on top of Peter, who was now lying on his stomach, with his legs untied and spread, and wearing only his plimsolls, and proceeded to bugger the little boy.
At this point Peter's memories are understandably vague. How much it hurt he couldn't remember, but he did remember finding it very difficult to breathe with the weight of a seventeen year old on top of him.
It didn't take Norman long to finish, and as soon as he got up his place was taken by Jackie.
Jackie, for some reason, was more careful, and took most of the weight off Peter's body, so that at least he could breath properly. Jackie was definitely more gentle with Peter, and Peter was aware of the strong smell of Jackie's after-shave as Jackie, who had stripped off completely, thrust into him with a slow, deliberate rhythm.
Jackie took longer than Norman, and when he was finished, he ruffled Peter's hair, sat him up and untied his hands.
While Jackie was doing this young Peter was fascinated by the sight of Jackie's dark pubic hair, and his slowly shrinking penis.
Jackie and Norman then spent some time in the bathroom together, while Peter put on his red swimming trunks. Then Jackie went and made some tea, while Norman carried on chatting as if nothing had happened.
Later, Peter went up to his room and got dressed, and when he came back down stairs Norman warned him again not to tell his parents, or he really would have his 'bits' cut off. Although this terrified Peter, the warning was really unnecessary, however, as Peter would have been too embarrassed to tell Jane and John about what had happened, and had anyway already internalized the idea that the 'punishment', which he just experienced as pain in his 'backside', was deserved, as he had not been strong or skilful enough in his fighting, and had started crying. 


Whether Peter had any response to that event we do not know. Much of what happened seems to have been repressed.

For some time afterwards things seemed to have carried on as normal, but there were obviously feelings that had been aroused that were just waiting for the appropriate stimulus to trigger a response.

That response was Peter's first remembered erection.

Now whether he had experienced an erection when he was abused Peter could not remember, but the event of that particular day did seem to Peter, at the time, to be a unique event – his first time.

Strangely enough we know the exact date of this 'awakening' because of the nature of the stimulus that set it off.

As we have explained before, the 'Eagle' comic was delivered to Pears Road regularly every week, and Peter would always read it as soon as he returned from school, in the afternoon. As the comic had the date included at the top of the page, we can be sure of the exact date that this event occurred, and it was the twenty-first of May, nineteen fifty-four.

Dan Dare - Operation Saturn - Eagle

Peter had been following the serial 'Operation Saturn', in which Dan Dare was combating the evil scientist Blasco, and the ruler of Saturn, Vora.

The series was reaching the end of the story, and this edition of the Eagle saw the defeat of Blasco, when he was knocked to the floor of the spaceship, and his space helmet fell off.

As there was no oxygen in the cabin, Blasco was left, writhing on the floor as he slowly suffocated to death – an unusually violent episode for a Dan Dare story.

Peter always read the Eagle while lying on his stomach, in front of the fire. On this occasion he felt his penis go hard and grow – a event he found very pleasurable.

It is possible, of course that the combination of viewing the picture of the writhing Blasco, while Peter was lying in the same position he had been in when he was 'abused', and the fact that Blasco couldn't breath, which was probably similar to the feeling that Peter had when first Norman and then Jackie lay on top of him, elicited his sexual response.

Regardless, Peter definitely enjoyed the experience of having an erection, and from then on, whenever he fantasized about the combination of an individual being helpless, and having violence perpetrated on him, (and notice that it was him rather than her), this would elicit in Peter an almost instantaneous sexual response, although at that time this would not progress to an orgasm.



One of the presents that Peter received that Christmas was a book of cowboy stories - probably by Mary and John Faulkner - although it is doubtful if they looked at the book very carefully when they bought it.
The book was of little use to Peter, as he was still having problems with his reading, and probably Jane didn't think it was particularly suitable reading material, and so didn't read it to him.
The book did have some full page, colour illustrations, however, and two of them particularly caught Peter's attention. These were pictures illustrating a story about some settlers who were attacked by 'red Indians', (what would now be described as Native Americans).
Subsequently Peter realized that these Indians were Mohicans, at least that is what was indicated by their hairstyles.
In one picture the Mohican's were attacking two women, who were being defended by a lone cowboy. The settlers were on a rock, and two Indians were attacking from below. While one Indian got the cowboy's boot to his face, the other Indian was shot in the belly with the cowboy's hand-gun.
The other picture was of the Indians riding off, after being defeated, and leaving their two dead comrades behind. One dead Indian was sprawled on his back over a rock, with his arms and legs dangling, and the other lay face down on the sand, with his legs spread, and his arms flung wide.
What drew Peter to these two pictures was the fact that in both the pictures the muscular young Indians were effectively naked, wearing only the tiniest red loincloths, which left their buttocks exposed, and showed very prominent crotch bulges.
Once again it was a combination of helplessness and violence, but this time combined with almost complete nudity, and in the second picture the obvious voyeurism of the victorious settlers.
Peter now began to fantasize that he was one of those red Indians, and such fantasies would cause him to become instantly and very strongly aroused.
Now Peter played 'Cowboys and Indians' in the park, and so he had a rubber knife, which Norman had used to such effect the previous Easter, and a rubber tomahawk and a toy bow and arrow. These were common boys toys at the time, as most boys of Peter's age spent much of their time playing 'Cowboys and Indians'.
All Peter then needed to complete the fantasy in his bedroom was a loincloth.
Among Jane's large collection of unused doilies and side-board runners was a red runner with fringes at both ends, just like the red loincloths that the Indians were wearing in the illustration in Peter's book, and also in the illustrations in the 'Riders of the Range' stories from the Eagle comic.
It was then just a question of Peter passing this length of cloth between his legs, and holding it in place with one of his elastic belts, and he had a perfect red Indian loincloth.
With all the items that he needed to act out his 'Indian' fantasy, Peter just had to wait until it was time to go to bed.
After he had gone to bed, and Jane and John thought he was asleep, Peter would then take off his pyjamas and dress – or rather undress 'Indian style'.
He would then stuff the tomahawk and knife in his belt, pile up his pillows to be the back of the horse on which he would ride, and take up his bow and arrows.
Peter would then ride off, fully 'aroused', and in his imagination, get 'shot' numerous times, and then slump down 'dead' across the pillow, or roll over onto the bed, as if he had 'bitten the dust'.
This went on for quite some time until one night he was 'riding' on the pillows, very vigorously, and of course with a strong erection.
When he was 'shot', he slumped forward onto the pillows, writhing frantically in his 'death throws', but this time he felt something happen between his legs that had never happened before. His 'death throws' had turned into orgasmic convulsions and he found himself forcefully ejaculating into his tiny loincloth.
The result of this secret activity was a bit sticky, and it meant washing the 'loincloth' while Jane was out shopping, but the feeling that Peter had got was so good that he quickly became addicted to his 'Indian fantasy'.

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